Celebrating Suicide Awareness Month 2025

You see the world in a different way when you lose a friend to suicide…

The green of the trees is different. Not duller, just…different. They have a different energy. Maybe not as healing as before…and you are more in tune with others’ facades.

STORYTIME:

I used to think I was invincible. I thought that I could save people. I would have this…gift, let’s call it. When I felt a tug at my heart, I would call them. Not text. Call, so I could actually be able to hear their voices. There is so much to be misconstrued in a text. And so many times when I called, they would pick up and softly say, “I was just thinking about unaliving myself…”

And we would talk. And they would get better.

But the last time I had the nudge, I didn’t answer. I was busy. I’m human (or so I’m lead to think).

Tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow.

Next week. I promise, I’ll do it next week.

And for weeks this kept happening. Until one day I saw the post for his wake…

My world was turned upside down.

Impossible. He wasn’t gone. He was supposed to get married that year.

I found things out. Things that, to this day, still don’t make sense. But who am I supposed to ask? His grieving mother? His ex-fiancée? His corpse? No. I had to move on.

People ask me how I get over it. How do I cope?

Sometimes I tell them time. That’s a lie…

In reality, I never got over it. Sure, he wasn’t a brother or cousin. We weren’t as close as many other people were, but we still had memories. We were in the theatre together. He taught me and one of my friends how to correctly use a drill during my undergrad while we were all work-study kids. He was one of my first dance partners. He and I would help the other students out with their choreography assignments. He was my first stage kiss. And he threw banger theatre parties in his basement (he was a DJ). He was the rock that held many of us together just as friends. And when he left us, we shattered to pieces.

Everyday I am reminded of him and his legacy.

May his memory live on forever. I call him The Wanderer.

Welcome, Changelings, to my world

Here I stand, with my dreams floating in a cloud above me, just too far enough to reach on my own, and yet so close that my fingertips graze the ghostly mist. As I reach for it, I watch as it continues to drift away. However solemn I am, I continue to reach. Not only does it not allow me to take it with me, no, but this particular cloud I cannot reach on my own.

So I ask you friend, if you will join me and help me to reach this dream cloud of mine? Each person who adds to this community, truly and graciously, with no egos, just an open heart, we become one step closer to that dream.

And then we shall see an empire restored.

With love and light, the Fae will rise.

Welcome, Changeling, to a life everlasting.

Ok, but seriously, what I envision is dancers from all over the world coming together to learn and perform and create a community with other dancers around the world. I have met so many beautiful and amazing dancers that started with one dancer who had a dream. And from there, I was introduced to another dancer who had a big dream. And from there, I began to meet and create such great relationships with so many dancers from all over the world. And I would love to offer that same experience with dancers of my own. So if you are interested in joining me, I would love for you to fill out this form and wait for me to invite you to the Facebook page where we will begin to create pieces together. There will be online classes as well as gatherings. Although my main space is currently in the Midwest region of the United States of America, I also travel to the coasts of the United States. And in this time of uncertainty, sometimes being able to connect online is all we can do right now. So join me, and let’s heal together.